I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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