Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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