plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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