420 ftw
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
