...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
