Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
