Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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