I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
