I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
