Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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