smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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