i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
