make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
