Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
