So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
