Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
