I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
