Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
