Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
