all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
