Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
