I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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