So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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