I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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