It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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