69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
zippers are such a cool invention
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
