And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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