I hate all girls vehemently.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
