they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
