I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize