i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sext me about skeletons
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
