At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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