is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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