Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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