hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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