He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
