soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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