He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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