Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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