I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
