I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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