i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
