Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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