There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
