I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
