Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize