I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
