Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
