Porn is love you can see.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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