He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
