My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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