Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
