I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
