Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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