youre lurking in front of me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
