Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this just has baby written all over it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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