I heard we made out
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
