needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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