I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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