i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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