You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
