Duck Duck Cougar?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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