I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
